i will wave with a smile.

the one week I have been spending in Bali,

was like a crash course,

met with a friend from a past,

who funnily and unexpectedly,

sent to deliver a message to me.

that it is alright to question life,

that it is alright to be weak,

that it is alright to be vulnerable,

that it is alright to make a change,

that it is alright to lose once in a while.

i am forever grateful,

to be sent such wonderful souls.

the luckiest on earth I feel,

to always feel taken care of.

so that I can move forward.

see,

life for me has been feeling like an endless circle.

i look for and look for the bigger purpose,

to the point I lost myself.

totally forgetting what was it I was looking for anymore.

but the universe has thrown me down a little,

so unexpectedly,

as if a slap to get me thinking and moving,

to get out of the comfort zone,

which was safe but pointless.

i tell myself,

if I die tomorrow,

all the nothings I’ve done till this day,

don’t satisfy me.

i will not exit with a smile.

here meant to do something with a meaning,

what I have believed since early age.

along the way that faith vanished,

it’s fighting back into me with a vengeance.

and I gladly welcome it.

for I wake up again feeling a purpose,

for I wake up again feeling useful,

for I wake up again feeling valuable,

for I wake up again feeling special,

for I wake up again feeling excited.

so when time comes for me to say goodbye to this world,
i will wave with a smile.

only time can tell.

can two people,

live a same goal separately?

can two people,

aim the same destination separately?

and finally win the test of distance?

does that simplistic beauty,

does that blind loyalty,

does that hopeful bet,

does that great faith,

still exist?

full of questions,

full of wonderments,

full of revolutions,

full of risks,

in hope for a resolution.

i guess only time can tell.

humanity.

Following to what has recently went on in the UK #brexit, I can’t help but got really saddened by the things I’ve been reading online. The aftermath has shown all the worst façade around us this day.

One might ask, why are you reacting? This has nothing to do with you; you’re so far off from the other side of the world.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not judging, I am not taking sides, I certainly do not think I know better nor feel like I am in any part of the 2 parties involved.

It is as simple as what we once called Humanity. Which, is shamefully, yet inevitably diminishing. That’s what saddened me.

People call each other names, telling each other where they should go, despising and rejecting one another based on mere one or two information/facts that are wrongfully conveyed, or intentionally done to cause chaos or own political/financial gain.

Now the people who are being played like willing puppets, I don’t know whether they participate to feel cool, updated, or simply just themselves being bitter with life and taking it out on anybody whenever they have the chance. I don’t know. It doesn’t make sense.

However, we are today living in a cruel world. Where to be kind and compassionate is such a challenge, a self-battle really. When it is supposedly the very basic human practice we ought to carry out.

People are easily angered, people are much bitter, people looking at each other with hatred, judgment, and mistrust, people moving so much in fear, people with the inability to be grateful but complain about every single little things. Oh dear…

So what’s my point? You might ask; I don’t really have any point to be made when started writing this. Just sad facts going on in this world today.

I guess to keenly search for a light in this dark is: us as individuals might want to start to make our little part of difference. Be kind to one another, life’s more beautiful and bright that way. Really, it advantages you the most! Treat others like how you want to be treated. Respect others like how you want to be respected. Love others like how you want to be loved.

Even if sometimes being nice gets you in trouble and disappointed, or taken advantage of, or disrespected, never give up in humanity. It once existed, we slowly but surely got robbed of it, and us, who live in today, safe to say we did not really get to enjoy/experience it. However, we are also the ones, the only ones that have the power to change and bring it back. Let’s have faith in each other again.

Start your little part, inspire others around you, perhaps the snowball effect will decide to present itself in a big way!

the great love story.

It’s an inexplicable process,

Throughout this life.

Where we fall in and out of love,

Day in day out.

In search of this so called happiness.

Often we forget,

The greatest love that we already have,

That is from the Man above.

Which we are never alone,

And to search for an image resembles of Him.

We look for so much,

But all are wrong.

When we forget why all did not work out,

So personal and patiently,

He comes gently to remind and shelter.

Shielded from eternal pain,

We experience hurt a little while.

We get angry and disappointed,

Again forgetting to see the light in the dark.

That it is not a bad thing.

How great is our God,

Even when we betray much too much,

Thinking we’re so great on our own,

Above everything even including Him,

Yet He is always unfailingly faithful.

I now experience shame,

I now experience guilt,

I now experience indignity.

But I am wrong again even now,

All He wants is I to now experience His love.

How great is this love,

And to find it on earth even only a fraction of similarity.

That will be my eventual heaven on earth.

That’s what I should have been looking for,

And that’s what I should be seeking for now.

--

(While writing this, I am so overwhelmed by what this is I am feeling, how it just suddenly came to me – I keep shaking my head in disbelief, but it’s feeling so real. Peace is there, you just have to let it in)

let's not.

the streets of paris,

gave me a little mixed emotions.

looking at the homeless,

this time it's a little different.

they are little families.

a couple were couples,

a couple were with a child.

i felt sad,

yet also inspired.

how little but much they have.

they have so far less visibly,

yet so much more that we cannot see.

they have each other,

that diminishes the fear.

what do we actually have?

us with seemingly better situation,

we feel we have more choices.

and that sometimes taken forgranted,

irresponsibly playing and moving on.

we so not know how to appreciate anymore.

so wait,

are we actually poorer?

for we are reckless,

for we are heartless,

for we are alone.

somewhere along the way,

have we lost the ability to love one another?

let’s not.