i will wave with a smile.

the one week I have been spending in Bali,

was like a crash course,

met with a friend from a past,

who funnily and unexpectedly,

sent to deliver a message to me.

that it is alright to question life,

that it is alright to be weak,

that it is alright to be vulnerable,

that it is alright to make a change,

that it is alright to lose once in a while.

i am forever grateful,

to be sent such wonderful souls.

the luckiest on earth I feel,

to always feel taken care of.

so that I can move forward.

see,

life for me has been feeling like an endless circle.

i look for and look for the bigger purpose,

to the point I lost myself.

totally forgetting what was it I was looking for anymore.

but the universe has thrown me down a little,

so unexpectedly,

as if a slap to get me thinking and moving,

to get out of the comfort zone,

which was safe but pointless.

i tell myself,

if I die tomorrow,

all the nothings I’ve done till this day,

don’t satisfy me.

i will not exit with a smile.

here meant to do something with a meaning,

what I have believed since early age.

along the way that faith vanished,

it’s fighting back into me with a vengeance.

and I gladly welcome it.

for I wake up again feeling a purpose,

for I wake up again feeling useful,

for I wake up again feeling valuable,

for I wake up again feeling special,

for I wake up again feeling excited.

so when time comes for me to say goodbye to this world,
i will wave with a smile.

only time can tell.

can two people,

live a same goal separately?

can two people,

aim the same destination separately?

and finally win the test of distance?

does that simplistic beauty,

does that blind loyalty,

does that hopeful bet,

does that great faith,

still exist?

full of questions,

full of wonderments,

full of revolutions,

full of risks,

in hope for a resolution.

i guess only time can tell.